Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
