The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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