I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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