thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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