remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize