Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
