Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
