WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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