Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
