now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
