..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
