Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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