Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
then he tried to convert me to islam
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
