PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
