Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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