carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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