I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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