Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
