Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
