is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
