Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
