Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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