Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
