just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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