Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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