she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
