went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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