Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
