You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize