her vagine was all disorganized.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
