dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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