so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize