He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
