How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
