Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
