So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if only i could text you this smell
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
