so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
