So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
