roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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