The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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