He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
