Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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