We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
