And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
