I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
