yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
