So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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