He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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