dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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