the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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