i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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