Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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