i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
