my sisters under your porch take her home
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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