how can u be prego again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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