You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
