i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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