What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
