They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
