when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
