Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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