We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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