pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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