the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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