Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
