32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
