I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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