I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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