Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Do I even want to know?

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  (480): My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend. (1-480): Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/wopv
  Replies (28) Good night (4683) Bad night (1883)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3872) Bad night (2967)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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  (504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2
  Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (1161)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man

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  (614): I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man http://tfl.nu/8rsc
  Replies (9) Good night (4351) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

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  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2537) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.

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  (970): I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night. http://tfl.nu/sjta
  Replies (4) Good night (2546) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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  (304): I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud. http://tfl.nu/1ldm
  Replies (8) Good night (2387) Bad night (1301)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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  (317): What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am? http://tfl.nu/0wpx
  Replies (8) Good night (1830) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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  (614): Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween. http://tfl.nu/cwdu
  Replies (14) Good night (1024) Bad night (2804)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again

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  (563): dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again http://tfl.nu/9093
  Replies (1) Good night (954) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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  (636): Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome. http://tfl.nu/7z1r
  Replies (4) Good night (1248) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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  (406): I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina http://tfl.nu/3xqs
  Replies (19) Good night (2554) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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  (250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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  (503): In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win. http://tfl.nu/mc4e
  Replies (11) Good night (763) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole

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  (505): i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole http://tfl.nu/060d
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (471)

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