Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5081) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much. http://tfl.nu/8vwu
  Replies (79) Good night (4146) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis http://tfl.nu/a1d7
  Replies (22) Good night (810) Bad night (3055)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  do you ever just like the smell of your farts?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): do you ever just like the smell of your farts? http://tfl.nu/zlob
  Replies (39) Good night (4178) Bad night (4115)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  well most of my day revolves around power hour

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues. http://tfl.nu/beiy
  Replies (13) Good night (902) Bad night (2702)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you. http://tfl.nu/wybw
  Replies (6) Good night (3474) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper? http://tfl.nu/v6av
  Replies (13) Good night (1397) Bad night (3475)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think we should have started that trash fire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I don't think we should have started that trash fire http://tfl.nu/5qs5
  Replies (14) Good night (1896) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4647) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day http://tfl.nu/oxlv
  Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1628) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything. http://tfl.nu/58f8
  Replies (1) Good night (1287) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (367)

Randomize