STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved