I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration