I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
not ubering you a puppy
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom