so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?