Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

(860): View more from Connecticut

oh sweet, sweet irony

Fav 24 3549 898
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

Fav 8 1008 2226
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

Fav 33 8691 1175
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

Fav 12 10007 1182
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.

Fav 16 1433 5013
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in

Fav 15 7687 1374
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

Fav 3 3554 1108
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink

Fav 0 572 414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+10): View more from

What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration

Fav 1 57 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT