around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
tell me about the fingering
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
