So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
