Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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