garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i believe in u and ur pee
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
