I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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