I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My dick has a subreddit
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
