Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
